Previously, I decided that it was about time that I rediscovered the joy of eating and drinking things that for the past few years have filled me with utter dread. So far I’ve ordered my first Dominos Pizza in three years, reminded myself that I can only really cook Spaghetti Bolognaise, and determined that Peanut Butter Cup is the best flavour of Ben and Jerry’s and that saying otherwise was the cause of several wars.
Food was not my only source of nutritional anxiety. During my anorexic years, I also developed a deep fear of any liquid that was not water, black coffee, or Green Tea. This has not really gone away. So as part of my ongoing campaign to get my appetite back I have resolved to start drinking things that taste good as well. I have tried a few things now and, as previously with the foods I sampled, I have rated my drinks out of ten. Let’s dive in!
I’ll be honest. Even before I got really sick, Frappes kind of left me cold. (Hur Hur). However, since it was my birthday yesterday, I figured that one of these would make a fine stand-in for a birthday cake until an actual cake came along. (Saying that, I could have bought a muffin or something. That would have made more sense. Why didn’t I buy a muffin? I suppose I might have been distracted. I wanted to finish my lunch and make it to the cinema in time for Power Rangers. Yes, I have seen Power Rangers, and you know what? I actually rather enjoyed it. Come at me, Bro).
Anyway, I had a Frappe, and it was exactly as I remembered them. Okay, not great, just sort of there with way too much cream on top. But I had one and that was a bit of a win, right?
What is Bubble Tea? According to Wikipedia, it is a popular drink that originated in Taiwan. The two most popular varieties are Bubble Milk Tea with Tapioca Balls and Bubble Milk Green Tea with Tapioca Balls.. What Wikipedia failed to mention is that these things are kind of boring. But the stalk where they sell them in Bluewater is cool. It’s got all these pipes and neon lights and it’s all very futuristic. It’s a cool design and you feel cool ordering a drink there. Which is pretty much all it has going for it.
I was apprehensive about this one. I am not fun to be around drunk. The best thing that will happen is that I will get bored and confused by the multiple conversations going on around me that I can barely follow or understand and set fire to a menu. That actually happened once. On a night out with some University friends I got drunk and maudlin and started playing with the candle in the middle of the table. I melted a plastic spoon and burned a copy of the drinks menu before anyone noticed and quietly took it away from me. It was still better than what I actually do when drunk, which is lose what filter I have and start telling everyone who will listen about what is going on at the moment. I will then get very depressed and anxious and will pick a fight with an inanimate object. So yeah, not a fun drunk.
Oh, and I will get bored and go exploring. So my fellow drinkers wouldn’t have to put up with me for very long, but they would have to wait until the next morning to find out if I was alive or dead.
I didn’t want to deal with that on my birthday. So went to the Harvester for my birthday meal, I just had unlimited refills on R Whites instead. All of which tasted the same, by the way. I mean the machine gives you the option of cherry or vanilla or whatever, but it all tastes like Lemonade. Bit of a con.
Think that just about covers it for now.
Oh, I might have to go private for my Autism Assessment now. This has nothing to do with drinks, it’s just a bit of a pain.