On Monday, I tried and failed to join Tinder. To cut a long story short, I decided that my shaky mental health, lack of social grace, and the fact I resemble a sock filled with gravel did not an attractive proposition make. I wrote a Blog about it. We all have our own way of dealing with things, I suppose.
I still don’t know why exactly I tried to join Tinder. I know from experience that things do not go well when I start feeling romantic. Just ask any one of the three girls I have properly taken a liking to since the age of sixteen. I should say, however, if you want an account of my love life (why?) you have come to the wrong place. I am not going to name names, nor am I going to attempt to justify my behaviour while any of us were in the same circles. Not a single one of them deserved the awkwardness and the humiliation and the downright creepiness at times. They were my friends, or at least could have been if I hadn’t constantly overstepped and placed them in uncomfortable situations. I am truly sorry. And that’s all the self-pity you will get from this blog.
What I can say is that if you develop a crush on a friend, your best bet is to leave until you are over it. Or never come back if you feel you cannot. You see, situations like the ones described usually have one of three outcomes:
1) They return your affections and everything works out
2) They return your affections, things don’t work out, and you end up not being friends anymore
3) They don’t return your affections and the friendship ends because they can’t be around you.
All three of those outcomes, of course, depend on you actually telling the person you have a crush on that you fancy them. You could always keep it to yourself-or at least never discuss it with them-and hope they never work it out for themselves. Which is possibly the worst thing you can do, because all that means is you are just pretending to be someone’s friend and exploiting their trust. Which is shoddy behaviour considering you are supposed to care about this individual, friend or not.
I can’t tell you what to do if someone likes you back, because I have yet to experience anyone liking me in that sense full stop. What I can say is that if you are lucky enough to be friends with someone, don’t wish for anything more. Maintain what you have at a respectable distance. Don’t pine or make any declarations to people who honestly don’t want to hear it. All that leads to is you sitting in a flat by yourself.