The Last Blog I will ever Write (For now at least)

I think I need to stop blogging for a while.

I’m not entirely sure why I am announcing this via a blog, as I am pretty sure my readership has shrunk significantly since the glory days of up to five people reading my posts if they could be bothered or if their Netflix wasn’t working. Force of habit I guess.

If you have by some chance been following my blog recently, then you will know that I have been dealing with some things recently. Things like deciding to get tested for Autism and my body image and feeling like I will never truly connect with anyone, because all I do is drive people away. Problems that pale in significance to Aleppo. Or the Brexit vote. Or the horrifying implications of Donald Trump in the White House. Or tragedies closer to home such as loved ones dying. How can I continue the way I am when there are things in the world that are so much worse than what I am going through?

I don’t know when I will start writing these again. If at all. I just need some time to get my head straight and get some perspective. Using this blog to chart my own personal drama was wrong. I said it before, I will say it again-I am sorry. The people who I wanted to notice me most likely paid me no attention at all. They probably stopped a long time ago. I shouldn’t put bad thoughts in other people’s heads because I drove my friends away. 

If you have people you can talk to, keep them close. If you have the ability to make someone love you as much as you love them, see that power for the gift that it is and work hard to make each other happy. If you have the ability to hope, use it to inspire hope in others and make the world a better place. If you ever doubt you are a good person, look around and ask yourself: If I were a bad person, why do I have friends and Family? Would I be able to connect with any of them if they didn’t want to? 

2016 was a bad year. Make 2017 better.

So that’s it for this year. I don’t know when I’ll be back.

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Christmas Card Etiquette you didn’t know you Needed

I have decided to make more of an effort to be more positive when writing. No-one really wants to know how sad I might be feeling, or how I am getting more and more worried with each day that passes without word from the Doctor about my Autism assessment, or how I cannot comprehend how a ten year old can accurately determine that they are in love, even if their Dad is played by Liam Neeson. So let’s get into the spirit of the season and talk Christmas Cards!


I have received my first Christmas card of the year today, and it holds the honour of being the only Christmassy thing in my entire flat. (I don’t do decorations. I just don’t. Happy thoughts, Adam. Happy thoughts.) It also reminded me that unless people are careful, the act of sending a Christmas Card could backfire spectacularly, leaving the sender shunned and definitely on the Naughty List. 

So how do you avoid doing more harm than good with your pieces of shiny cardboard?

-Keep it simple. Just wish the recipient a Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukkah / Delightful Diwali / Solemn, Dignified Ramadan and sign your name. Don’t write long personal messages. That is what Facebook is for. Do not enclose photos of you in a bathing costume. Even if they asked for one. That is also what Facebook is for.

-Do not write “I know where you live now”.

-Try to avoid religious iconography. Or, if you cannot, doodle on the picture so that it looks funny. Giving the Baby Jesus a mullet may damn your soul to fiery oblivion, but at least your University housemate who you last physically saw puking into a bush during your final summer prom will get a laugh. 

-Do not sign it in blood.

-Do not ask for hair.

-Do not imply that you have their pets and/or children.

Easy enough, no? Of course you can ignore all of this if you have made your own cards. The people you have sent them to have already decided that they are ransom notes of some kind and have notified the police. It is a bit silly to worry about looking weird now.

A Pangolin and an Apology (not in that order)

So I’m beginning to realise that my blogs have been rather negative of…well, ever. I do like a good moan, don’t I? But as much as it is not fun to be me sometimes, it is equally not fun to be the one who has to sit and read some adolescent claptrap. Which is probably why not many people actually read my blog anymore. Or respond to my Facebook messages. 

Let’s not go there. I’m sorry for my behaviour. I shouldn’t treat the few readers I have left like they are my therapists, because they aren’t. I shouldn’t have treated my University friends or my sixth Form friends or Work colleagues like they were my therapists, because they weren’t. I wish I could have handled my life the same way they handled theirs-how you, dear reader, handled yours-because then I might not be living alone. I might be stronger. I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.

Anyway.

I’m still waiting to be assessed for Autism. During this time, I can either let the uncertainty drive me into the ground, which in turn would probably drive more people away, or I can write about Pangolins. 


This is a Pangolin. There are eight species of Pangolin. Four are native to Asia and the rest live in Africa. Their tongues are longer than their bodies, and they are the only mammals that are covered in scales. Some climb trees and some (like our little friend above) dig holes.  And they are freaking adorable. 

So that’s the choice. I can either write about what is going on with me and how I feel about it, which might not always be positive, or I can write what is essentially clickbait and hope that more people read things like that. 

Not Worth It: A tale of the Office Christmas Party.

This year, my team will be celebrating Christmas by going to our local Zizzi’s  and then our local pub. I will not be going. I haven’t responded to the email, I haven’t paid any of the deposit, and whenever someone mentions it, I leave the room because hiding under the desk would look a bit weird. 

I am being rather selfish, really. I can think of plenty of things I would rather be doing than standing in the corner staring at the floor not talking to anyone, or picking apart a strange dinner in silence while everyone else conduct multiple conversations that I can barely follow or understand. One could argue that such events would offer me some much needed social practice, but it seems as though every time I have tried to get involved or let my hair down, I just end up saying or doing something that inspires people to stop wanting to be my friend at best or flat-out hate me at worst. People who I know and care about from Sixth Form, from Uni, from Work have all been hurt or disgusted and ultimately driven away or been stuck counting down the awkward silences until I leave them alone forever.

 I don’t want to do that to anyone else. I’ve hurt enough people.

 


Don’t think this blog is all doom and gloom. Just because I am a miserable, self-obsessed Charlie Hunt it doesn’t mean that I cannot spread a little Festive Cheer. 

Yes. I am aware that it is only the Fifth of December. But considering the number of people who have had their decorations up since mid-November, I think I have left it quite late.

So without further ado, here is Adam’s Top Five Christmas Songs! If you are not sick of them by December 16th, we will issue a full refund and a shiny button.

1.Christmas Time (Don’t let the Bells End)-The Darkness

2.Must Be Santa-Bob Dylan

3. She’s American-The 1975

4.Too Lost in You-Sugababes

5.And this from Family Guy.

Okay, so they are not all Christmas songs. Technically. But number four is from a Christmas movie, which must count for something. Oh, and the 1975 are a good band which made a good song and you can just learn to live with it.